How to live a life of balance

How to live a life of balance:

Finding the sweet spot between masculine and feminine.

By Brigitta Bouwer

The quiet power of the super black new moon shrouded the starry night sky on July 31st, enticing us to step out of our comfort zones, to go within and to tune into the truest version of ourselves.

It was in the darkness of the new moon night sky that I was reminded of the wisdom: “In our darkest hour, we can find our greatest strength.”

It is here, in our darkness, that we can face the parts of ourselves which otherwise would remain hidden, unnoticed and unobserved.

The new moon ushered us gently into the new month and offered us an opportunity to recommit to our heartfelt intentions.

The arrival of August marks the last month of winter and a time for going inwards to connect more deeply with ourselves. This time for connection is vital to bring awareness and understanding to our most vulnerable parts so that we can move forward with love and acceptance.

By connecting with our vulnerability, often masked by shame or guilt, rejected and abandoned, we can access the place within us which holds our light and our truth, our inspiration, passion and joy.

It is here that we can access the perfectly imperfect parts of ourselves which hunger for discovery. It is here that we can open ourselves to acceptance and understanding which then ignites the fire within us to take inspired action.

This is a time for both humility and empowerment.

August, the 8th month of the year, encompasses a deep need to first find and then evolve from a place of balance.

Whilst it is a month filled with the energetic influence of wealth and prosperity, it is also a time of karmic equalizing, of finding balance and honoring the truth of who we are. This month will allow for a time to reap what you have sown. It is a time of expansion, increased energy and working with focused intent.

In 2019, August is also influenced by the energy of the number 2 (8+2+0+1+9= 20 = 2+0= 2). The number 2 energy is about finding a sense of humble resilience.

Whilst we may be influenced by the goal-orientated practicality of the 8 energy, we are also reminded of the need to be gentle with ourselves, to practice forgiveness, understanding, and patience.

August is going to demand that we find and develop a balance between our masculine energies of logic and result-driven action and our feminine energies of allowing and simply being.


Assess where you are DOING instead of BEING

As you journey into August, take the time to assess which areas of your life need balancing.

Determine whether you need to stride into action or whether there is a need for you to release control, to open yourself to receiving and to allowing yourself the gift of surrendering into a state of being.

Understanding masculine and feminine energy and behavior

Further on in this post, you will be given a few ways to identify and connect with both your masculine and feminine energies.

It is important to remember that all of us have both masculine and feminine energy. Although you may be anatomically male or female, you are not masculine or feminine but rather, you are a blend of both.

It is perfectly ‘normal’ for each of us to swing back and forth between the two, however, each of us will have a more automatic set of qualities which we revert to in times of stress and overwhelm.


Neither way of being is right nor wrong!

Being overtly more masculine or more feminine in our actions and responses is learned, as our behavior is learned.

Neither way of being is right, nor wrong. It is simply the place where we begin, a dance of sort, an act of unconscious living. As we become aware of our strategies and behaviors, so we can grow and expand into higher consciousness.

By taking the time to understand our default pattern of behavior, whether it be masculine or feminine, we give ourselves the gift of being able to create a life which is balanced and inspired.

Begin where you are.

Take the time this month to assess which areas of your life you are allowing, receptive and fluid and which areas you are structured and focused.


” Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you are living?” – Bob Marley.

If you find you are blocked, unable to move and flow, locked in battle, set on controlling rather than trusting and unable to receive the gifts of abundance then these are areas in which you need to rekindle your feminine energy.

If you find yourself unable to focus and you feel as though you are without direction, as though life is simply taking you along for a ride, if you feel as though you are simply the passenger without intention and clear objectives, then these are the areas of your life which need an injection of the masculine.

Please remember, we intend to create balance, dear one. Be gentle with yourself as you perform this curious dance between giving and receiving, doing and being.

It has taken you a lifetime to learn your patterns of behavior, it may take you some time to unlearn and relearn the same.


Understanding the masculine and feminine energy

What is feminine energy?

Feminine energy is receptive, soft, fluid, allowing, nurturing, sensual, empathetic, flexible, emotional and more subtle.

What is masculine energy?

Masculine energy is focused, goal-oriented, structured, logical, giving, driven and more physical.

Feminine energy is about BEING; 

Masculine energy is about DOING.

How to welcome the feminine:

1. Take time to create: This can be creating art, music, writing, cooking, baking, sewing or any other creative project.

Go within: How can I allow myself time for creativity? In what way can I express myself through artist endeavors?

2. Express your inner nurturer: You can cultivate your inner nurturer with anything from plants to people. This can be as simple as offering words of encouragement, to sharing your experiences in a way which guides another or nurturing yourself with healthy food, sufficient water and time for rest.

Go within: In what ways can I nourish myself and others? How can I be more encouraging to myself and others?

3. Trust your intuition: Instead of using your analytical mind when working on a challenge or navigating your daily life, begin to tap into your inner wisdom. Practice following your gut instincts, take note of where it leads you, become more aware of what lessons you gather along the way.

Take action: The more you practice and use your intuitive muscle, the stronger it becomes.

4. Welcome emotions: Emotions are feelings in motion. When we stifle, push down and run from our feelings they can cause us to become blocked and out of balance. Give yourself permission to express your emotions, to feel the bad along with the good.

Go within: We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the ‘bad’ emotions such as fear, shame, and anxiety, we close ourselves from experiencing the good emotions, such as joy, love, hope, and gratitude.

5. Get moving: Feminine energy is fluid, taking the time to get your body moving is an amazing way to welcome in feminine energy.

Take action: Go for a walk in nature, stretch out in a yoga class, or dance in your underwear to your favorite music in your bedroom.

6. Re-Connect: The feminine connects largely through verbal communication (with masculine connecting largely through touch).

Take action: Turn off the TV, call up someone you care about and catch up on your unique but diverging lives. Talk without aim other than to let them know about what’s been going on with you and to hear all about how they’ve been since you last talked.

How to welcome the masculine:

1. Set personal boundaries and stick to them: Determining what you are and are not comfortable with is vital to living a balanced life. Setting personal boundaries is about honoring yourself. Practicing speaking up for yourself – even when it is uncomfortable- is less about opposition and more about cooperation. It is about inviting yourself and others to treat you the way you wish to be treated.

Go within: How would I like to be treated and spoken to by myself and others? What am I comfortable with when interacting with others? What am I uncomfortable with? What are my boundaries of engagement?

2. Create a schedule for yourself with goals: Take some time to create structure in your life by developing a weekly schedule with SMART goals.

Take action: Your goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

3. Engage your logical mind: Spend an evening doing crossword puzzles, learn something new or read a book.

The masculine energy thrives in logic.

4. Slow down: Since feminine energy is about fluidity and motion, masculine energy is connected to stillness, sameness, and consistency.

Go within: In which areas of your life do you need to slow down? How can you practice being more consistent? In what way can you implement stillness into your daily/ weekly schedule?

5. Challenge yourself (without the need to win!): Set yourself a challenging goal, and go after it! Whether you succeed or not is secondary to the fact that you are out there doing something.

Take action: One way challenge yourself without getting lost in the need to succeed or win is to try something completely new. Challenge yourself to do one thing on your bucket list. Do something completely new and foreign to you. Get out of your comfort zone and have fun with it!

Do you find that it is easier for you to give or to receive? Are you the kind of person who is always doing or do you allow yourself time for simply being? Which energies and behavior do you more readily connect with?

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

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